Sometimes, we are only given few moments with the one
we love, and a thousand hours to spend thinking of them.
"Roxas! Roxas I got another letter!" Sora bounded into his brothers room, laughing. Roxas couldn't help the small smile that slid onto his face. He looked up from his book, chuckling a little. "Well, go on, read it?"
Sora smiled brighter as he sat on the bed cross-legged. He was the older twin, but when it came to his boyfriend, Riku, you couldn't tell him apart from a 12 year old fangirl.
"Sora, my beautiful angel, I can't wait until I can hold you in my arms once more. You're my light, my world, my reason for living. It's worth all of this, this war and death and poverty to know that you're at home, waiting for me. I want you to remember that you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and it's all that I need from you, just knowing that you'll wait for me. I send my love, forever and always, Riku."
Sometimes you have to take a step back and realize
what's important in your life – what you can live with, but
more importantly, what you can't live without.
Sora finished reading the letter and there were slight tears in his eyes. He clutched the paper with trembling hands up to his chest and took a deep breath. "Oh my god. He needs to come home, like now. I want to kiss him so badly… Roxas…" He whined to his twin. Roxas sighed softly. He knew how much Sora loved his SOLDIER…
"I told you not to fall for someone who was genetically engineered to fight, Sora. He'll never be home for long, you know that." Roxas was always trying to protect his older brother, especially when it came to matters of the heart. Sora had a tendency to go for older guys, and when he fell for someone, he fell hard, throwing his whole heart into the ordeal.
The brunette shook his head stubbornly. "No. I'm in love with him, Rox. Remember what mom used to say? When you love someone so much, you have to believe that your love will protect them. If you believe hard enough, it will become true. Well I believe it, Roxas. I believe it so much, it hurts. I'm not giving up on him, Roxas."
Roxas got up and walked over, giving his twin a tight hug. "I don't want you hurt is all… I don't like the feeling I get around him. I just… He's trouble, Sor." The blonde warned. Sora shook his head stubbornly and stood abruptly. "You just don't know him like I do is all."
Sometimes, someone comes into your life that changes
everything. Raises the standards, makes you laugh, and
makes you feel like you. There is something about him that
you cant put into words, and even though you're not with
him, you never want to let him go.
Sora left the room in much less of a happy mood than when he walked in. his brother always made him a little sad… He knew Roxas was just concerned, but Sora was almost 18, dammit! He could take care of himself for once. The brunette descended the stairs two at a time, humming to himself. Music always made him less agitated than normal, so he would always hum or sing when he was upset.
Sora caught a look at himself in all the pictures down the hall, and he smiled to himself. He ran to his room and snatched up the camera, heading outside. He took pictures of everything, the sky, the snow on the ground, the clouds in the sky… Himself, and his brother. He wanted Riku to see it all.
Nothing is forever. Forever is a lie.. All we have is
what is between hello and goodbye.
Riku sat on a rock just outside his tent, laughing softly at all the pictures. Sora really did know how to capture moments. He sighed again as he started reading the letter to himself.
You sure know how to make a guy blush.. I miss you so much,I swear, it hurts. When do you come home again? I wanna be sure so I can resume counting. I lost track because of school. Well anyway, I have pictures for you! I didn't want you to miss any moments while you were away, so yeah(: I hope you like them.
Riku chuckled as he looked through the pictures once more. He stopped to look at a silly picture of Sora and Roxas, both making somewhat funny faces.
"Damn. Blondie is hot." A voice from behind Riku said, and you could practically hear the grin in his voice.
Riku laughed. "Oh god. That kid will chew you up and spit you out broken and shattered." He grinned as he put the photos and the letter back in the envelope.
"Feisty, huh? I like 'em that way" Riku rolled his eyes.
"No, you don't understand…" He shook his head again and stood. "Axe, I need your help." He looked his best friend in the eye.
"Fuck. You have that determined look…" He ran a hand through his fire red hair with a heavy sigh. "Alright, what is it?"
Riku smiled. "I'm gonna marry him."
"No matter where I am, no matter where you are, I'm
gonna be there when it's over because I was there from the
– Wiz Khalifa
Sora absolutely loathed waiting for the next letter from Riku. His brother was currently scolding him on stuff he'd heard a thousand times.
"Sora, you've got to stop this! It's getting out of hand! You won't eat or drink if Riku is even one week late in a letter!" Roxas sighed. Sora looked at him and rolled his eyes. "No, you need to stop. You don't think I don't know the risks that come with loving him? You don't think I haven't thought about ending it, just to save my heart the trouble of it all if he doesn't ever come home?" He said, his brows dipping down into a frown. It looked wrong on his face.
The blonde flicked him in the forehead. "Quit frowning, it doesn't suit your face. And anyway, you don't have to yell at me, I'm just being serious. What will you do if he comes back in a coffin? We both know: You'll be broken, Sora. I don't want to see that."
"I just need you to be there for me, Roxas! Don't try and protect me from anything! I can make my own choices, good fucking Christ on a cracker…" Sora's face was slowly turning red.
Roxas frowned, blinking. "I jus-" Sora held his hand up, cutting Roxas off. "No. You don't get to explain, because I've heard it all before. Stay. Out. Of. My. Love. Life."
The brunette sat back on his butt on the floor and pulled his knees to his chest. Roxas sat next to him and wrapped his arms around his twin's smaller frame with a soft sigh. His twin leaned into the blonde's touch. "I'm sorry I just… Is it possible to go through withdrawal from a person?"
Roxas snorted. "How would I know? I've never loved anyone enough." He shrugged. His twin nodded. "I know, but do you think it's possible? I mean… I'm just literally counting the days until he's here. I don't feel whole anymore… Not until he holds me and kisses me again. I know I won't be able to feel whole until he can touch me again. The world will once again be complete when he shows back up."
"Does it scare you?"
"Does what scare me?" Sora asked, a little confused.
"Loving him so completely… knowing that your whole well being depends on someone else?"
"Roxas… Is that what you think love is?" Sora smiled a bit sadly. "It's not about being at the mercy of someone else, it's…" He frowned, trying to get the right words together.
"Love is amazing and scary at the same time. Like a, this is gonna sound so cliché, but go along with it… It's like a canoe. It takes two to go the same way, to get to where you wanna go without falling off. Some people give up because it's hard. But those who trust the other person to be the other half of their strokes, the only reason they make it They get the best reward of all. It's just… You have to experience it for yourself. There's no way I can tell you what love is like. It's like trying to describe the taste of water. Almost impossible. Everyone feels differently about it, and everyone experiences it differently. But when you're in love, you'll know it. And so will everyone else." While Sora was talking, he had this soft, knowing smile on his face. He didn't get that smile a lot… It made Roxas smile as well.
"It sounds amazing…"
"It really is. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about him. About him coming home… I can almost feel his arms around me if I concentrate enough. I know he's gonna come home. He has to." Sora's voice was steel determination. It's obvious Sora refused to believe Riku would come back as anything but alive.
"As long as you know what you're doing… Sor, you know I love you, right?" Roxas said with a wry grin. Sora smiled brighter and nodded. "I know, Rox." He ruffled the blonde's hair as he stood and stretched. "I have to finish writing my letter… I gotta make it good." He laughed to himself as he walked into his room and shut the door.
Once seated at the desk, he read over what he had written so far.
I know this letter is pretty short, but I feel we've
already done and said everything we needed to, so I'm gonna
keep this one short. I want you to come home. Like soon…
And alive. Can you promise that? I just… want this hole in
my heart to disappear. Everything seems dull without
you.. . Parties are boring, food isn't as exciting unless
you cook it. I want your smell, your voice.. Your arms
around me, I miss them all. It's all like a ghost, fading
with time. I want you to promise me that the last kiss we
shared before you got on that plane… That won't be our
I can't wait until I can see you again. – Your loving
"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever" – Winnie
Roxas looked at his brother worriedly. It had been months since they had heard from Riku. His twin watched the news obsessively, waiting to hear anything from them about the war. It never came on, of course. The government didn't want them to worry about the war.. Half the public didn't even know it was happening. Sora hadn't been eating lately, and he looked like skin and bones.
Roxas may not like Riku all that much, but if he had this affect on Sora, he had to give the kid props. No one got to his twin the way Riku seemed to. If Roxas didn't get a damn good excuse next time he saw the sliver haired male, they could both bet it wouldn't be good.
"Sora…" The blonde sighed his twins name exasperatedly. "You have got to eat. You think losing like, 20 pounds will make Riku happy? I may not know him all that well, but I'm sure he wouldn't want you to starve yourself in his
absence." His eyes followed Sora's thin frame as the brunette, who was obviously ignoring him, walked out to the mailbox for the 5th time today.
He met the mailman outside, skimming through the mail. His eyes grew wide and the brightest smile Roxas had seen him achieve in months made its way onto the brunette's face. He ran inside, ripping the letter open. Roxas actually laughed a little at his brothers enthusiasm. "Well, read it?"
Sora nodded and giggled, opening the letter and clearing his throat. "Dear my precious Sorabear, I am so sorry I haven't been able to get this written and sent sooner. We spend a good part of two months fighting off the invasion of these damn ShinRa soldiers. I was lucky to make it out alive?"
Sora choked a little on that word and handed it to Roxas. "I can't finish this, read it for me?"
Roxas rolled his eyes and sighed, finishing the letter. "But don't worry, I'm still alive. HEY SORA, YOUR BROTHER IS A SEX-" Roxas spluttered and coughed, blushing bright red. Sora laughed. "That was Axel. Now finish the sentence." He giggled.
Roxas groaned. "SEX BEAST! CAN I FUCK HIM?!"Roxas coughed again and Sora was on the floor, rolling. He couldn't breathe. "I-I'm not gay dammit!" He threw the paper down and huffed, standing up. "Finish it yourself you ass!"
Sora continued laughing, wiping at his eyes until he calmed down. Once he did, he read the rest silently until he got to the end.. He had to read it again, out loud to make sure he read it right. "You will be getting a box from me sometime in the next two days, keep a close eye out for it and don't write back until you get it. – I love you"
Sora wiped his eyes and held the paper close to his heart, eyes closed. He whispered, "I miss you."
Just because things aren't good now, doesn't mean they
will be that way forever.
Axel looked around at all the rings and made a face. "You're really serious about this, aren't you?" Riku nodded, a soft smile grazing his features. "I love him, Axe." He said quietly. "I want him to be mine."
Axel sighed. "I don't wanna be here…" The red head whined. Riku huffed and turned to face him. "Shut up. So you owe me, how about that?" He looked slightly irritated.
Axel sighed. "Fine. I wrote a letter to Roxas." He mumbled. He held a hand up when Riku raised an eyebrow. "Just send that letter and I won't whine anymore."
Riku snickered. "Axel's in looooooove"
"Not! I am NOT in love! Axel King doesn't love. Kaythanks." He huffed. "But you on the other hand…" He grinned. Riku shrugged and turned back to the rings. "Fine, yeah, I am in love with Sora. Is there something wrong with that?"
Before Axel could answer, he gasped. "That one." He breathed. It was a simple silver band with a smaller piece of silver ribboning around the stone, with Sora's birthstone colour front and center.
Axel laughed at Riku's enthusiasm. "It looks good, Ri." He smiled. Axel might tease Riku a lot, but in general, he was jealous of his best friend. Of course he'd never admit it… "You think he'll say yes?" He asked Riku quietly.
"I really… REALLY hope so." Riku sighed the words as the clerk bagged the ring with a soft, knowing smile.
Never give up on someone you can't go a day without
Sora, I'm sorry I can't be there, down on one knee to ask
you this, but I want you. When I say that, I don't mean it
lightly. I want you, everything that you are. The
memories, your bitchiness, the slight clingy-
possessiveness you get, your laughter… Your lips against
mine. I want your eyes looking at me in that way you do when
you think of me. I want your hair between my fingers, your
skin against mine.. Your voice in my ear, whispering that
you love me. I just want you.. All of you, nothing less than
that. I love you, Sora Strife, more than words can ever
express. This letter is me getting down on one knee and
taking your hand in mine as I ask you… (first, look in the
small box, then continue reading)
Will you give me the absolute joy and pleasure of having
you as mine forever and always?
Sora was crying by the end of the letter. He had no idea that Riku would ask him that… His vision blurred with tears of happiness. "Of course.." He whispered as he slipped the ring on his finger, laughing when it fit perfectly, looking like it belonged there. In a way, it did.
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it
means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.
Riku grunted, dodging the blows coming at him from all three sides. He retaliated, slicing through an arm here, a leg there.. he stabbed the last guy in the chest and rose, panting hard. He looked over at his best friend, who, at that same moment, was stabbed in the arm.
The sword went all the way through, coming out the other end. Axel screeched in pain and fell to his knees, clutching the sword. "Axe!" Riku ran over and stabbed the guy through the heart, kicking the corpse away as he knelt next to his friend.
"Axe, holy shit. Here…" He pulled the sword out of his best friend's arm slowly, making a tourniquet.
"You'll be fine, lets go." He closed his eyes and Axel nodded. "Yeah." Riku made a small grunt of pain and his face went sheet white.
"Ri..?" He frowned, confused. "Riku, are you…" Riku slumped forward, gasping for breath. A small dagger protruded from his back, buried deep in the skin. Blood flowed freely past the metal, blooming on his shirt like a morbid design. Axel's eyes went wide and he snarled, standing up and setting Riku down gently.
He ran at the guy who threw the knife, fire in his eyes. His sword arced upwards, cutting the mans head in half. He smirked down at the now dead ShinRa soldier, spitting on him. "Asshole" He snarled and drew his attention back to Riku.
"Shit, Ri… You can't.. You'll be fine, okay?" He whispered, desperately trying to get the others wounds to stop bleeding. Riku coughed, and gurgled a bit… The blood was filling his lungs. ""Dammit.." He coughed again. He was in immense pain, that much was visible through his actions.
"Riku, you gotta hang on, just a little longer, please.." He called the Medical center, urging them to send a chopper.
"Axe.. E-End it.. pl.. please." His words were faint.
The redhead grimaced and shook his head. "I-I can't kill you.. Please don't make me." He whispered, tears spilling over his cheeks slowly, falling onto Riku's neck, mixing with the blood. "Don't.."
"Sor.. Tell hi.. Love." The last word was whispered strongly as Riku took a last gurgling breath, a smile on his face as he thought about his Sora. Riku went limp in Axel's arms.
Nothing in life is free. Someone always pays a price..
Whether it's money or a life, someone always pays.
A knock sounded at the door, waking Roxas up. He groaned and stood, stretching as he walked over to the door. The blonde opened the door, greeted by a shock of red hair. The man was standing a bit awkwardly on the door, his bandaged arm in a sling over his SOLDIER's uniform… Roxas' eyes widened. "Oh god. Is..?" He left the question open. The other man nodded and held his hand out. "I'm Axel…" His emerald eyes shone with recognition as to who Roxas was. Roxas shook his hand and nodded. "Roxas. I remember you.. So wait. What happened to Riku? Is he okay?"
Axel stepped into the house and sighed. "No. He's not… He's not coming home alive." He winced a little. A thump sounded from the room. "Wh…What?" A tearful voice called out.
Roxas visibly winced. "Sor.." He said and Sora sniffled. He was all dressed up in his wedding dress and hair all done up.. Riku always loved Sora in dresses. "He's not coming home?!" Tears spilled over the brunette's face. He looked hopeful that this was all just a joke… Axel shook his head and looked down at his feet. "I'm afraid not." He whispered.
"Riku! No!" He collapsed on the ground, holding his face in his hands. Roxas sat next to him, rubbing his back comfortingly. Sora leaned into his twin's touch, his shoulders shaking. "I'm so sorry…"
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
Axel watched with sad eyes, looking away after a moment. He had already come to terms with his best friend's death… That didn't make all of this any less painful though.
He waited until Sora stopped crying, only then did he talk. "I wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss. Riku was my best friend." He said softly.
"No! Just.. Shut up!" Sora yelled and darted back up the stairs, sobbing. Roxas sighed sadly. "I'm sorry about him, Axe." He murmured. "You've changed quite a bit.." He blushed softly, looking the red head up and down. Axel looked confused.
"I was the boy dressed as a girl at Acon every year." He sighed. Axel's eyes widened. "Oh.. Wow.. Holy.." He licked his lips. "You've certainly grown up, haven't you?"
Roxas nodded and surged forward into Axel's arms. The red head wrapped his arms around Roxas as best he could, and Roxas sighed, relaxing in the olders touch. "I'm worried…" Axel simply held the blonde tighter, giving the smaller the strength and warmth of his touch once more.
It comes to a point when you love someone so much that
even though it hurts a lot to stay, you keep holding on...
It's because you can always let go of all the pain, but
never the little happiness you get out of loving that
"For those of you who don't know, my name is Axel King. I am a SOLDIER Lieutenant First Class.. Riku was my best friend." He looked out at the small gathering of people and smiled a little to himself. Riku never really did like many people… "He was funny, in that twisted way that sometimes made me think, 'Holy crap, what's wrong with this guy?' But he was still an amazing person. He didn't like many people, and I was privileged enough to be called his best friend. " A wry smile played at the corner of his lips. "You see, Riku was what you'd call perfect. At least, to society. He was handsome, smart, selfless.. He would have given his life for any one of his friends. But see, underneath his cocky, cold exterior, he was just human. He had fears, he had worries… He had love" Axel smiled a little at Sora, who broke down into tears again. Axel continued, telling stories about before becoming SOLDIERS, before the war. Everyone listened intently as Axel told Riku's story.
Love isn't supposed to be easy, it's supposed to be
Axel escorted the twins back to their house.. everyone was silent, each lost in their own world. The two boys walked inside, and Axel grabbed the overflowing mail stack in the small box.. Ever since Riku had stopped writing, Sora stopped getting the mail.
At the very top, in familiar cursive, was a letter addressed to Sora…
He handed it to Sora, who started tearing up again. He opened it shakily and started reading silently to himself.
I can't wait to make you mine. To hold you every night for
the rest of my life. To feel your lips against my skin,
your soft voice whispering into my ear as we fall asleep in
each other's arms. I cant wait to see you walk down the
isle. I'm counting the days till I'm finally done..
Actually, when you get this letter, I should be home,
watching you read it. I want to hold you so badly…
Anyway, Sarge is calling, so I gotta go. I'll be with you
soon.. I love you more than life itself.
Forever and always,
Love isn't always going to be perfect. It's not a
fairytale or a storybook, and it doesn't always come easy.
Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting
to be together... Holding on and never letting go. It's a
short, sweet word, easy to spell, difficult to define, and
impossible to live without. Love is accepting all the
complexities and simplicities. Love is work, but most of
all, love is realizing that every hour, every minute..
That every second was worth it because you did it together.